


we're a shimmering balance act

by therestisconfetti



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: F/F, Hints of Cordelia/Misty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 09:31:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17077778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisconfetti/pseuds/therestisconfetti
Summary: In which everyone in the entire Coven knows Madison and Zoe are into each other except Madison and Zoe, of course.





	we're a shimmering balance act

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place post-ahs apocalypse where Mallory's already brought Madison back and in a universe where Cordelia isn't getting weaker because of Mallory

Madison and Zoe have fallen into a rhythm since Madison’s return from the dead - which, although Mallory’s the one who takes responsibility for it, is still a mystery to mostly everyone. It’s not the chaotic rivalry they’d originally had, where the incoming of a new Supreme and an zombie boyfriend were in the mix. No, it’s something a little softer than that.

It’s not a steady rhythm, not by any means, but it’s a rhythm that’s theirs and theirs alone and it just _works._

It’s not like they’re suddenly the best of friends, not at all. Zoe still finds Madison a huge pain in her ass while Madison pushes every single one of her buttons with a smirk, but they work together in a way that they both understand. Their magic works well together - it always has. They move around each other with eye rolls and by trading biting comments, but in the quiet of their shared bedroom - Zoe never had the heart in her to let anyone else move into Madison’s side of the room after her second death - they share moments where Madison takes down her walls and Zoe listens.

Sometimes, Madison smokes on the porch and Zoe sits with her, the two of them talking about nothing in particular.

It’s not quite the normal, functional friendship.

No, it’s something else.

They can’t put a finger on it, but they know they’ll have each other’s back.

And really, that’s all that matters.

(Though just about every other witch in this house can tell Madison and Zoe are tragically in love with each other.

Even Cordelia - she _is_ the Supreme, after all.)

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, Madison sits in on Zoe’s classes.

She hasn’t quite figured out what her role is in this Coven since returning from Hell, and Cordelia tells her that’s okay, that for now she can sit in on classes and get used to the academy again.

Mallory notices that when Madison does come to classes, it’s always when Zoe’s teaching. The blonde sits in the back, slouching in her chair and pretending not to pay attention. But Mallory casts glances at Madison every now and then throughout lectures, knows the way she can’t help but be entranced by Zoe when she teaches.

She knows this version of Zoe is new for Madison, that she hasn’t seen Zoe as confident and in her element as she is now. Mallory suppresses a smile, like she’s watching this scene over in a new life time - which, she guesses she is in a sense.

“Madison, care to show the girls transmutation?” Zoe asks, raising an eyebrow.

A smirk grows on Madison’s lips as she sits up, suddenly intrigued. “Oh, I thought you’d never ask.”

In the blink of an eye, Madison’s gone from her seat to the front, right behind Zoe. She’s practically pressed up against Zoe’s back.

“Boo,” she says, soft and slow.

It makes Zoe jump in surprise, her breath hitching just a little.

“Surprise bitch.”

The move is too planned to be a mistake - Mallory knows this much about Madison. She can tell by the way her expression lights up, pleased that she has this effect on Zoe.

(Mallory can’t help but notice the fact this little game they play is always teetering the line of flirting.

 _Always._ )

“Jesus Christ,” Zoe exhales, and in a blink she’s moved herself to another part of the room.

“Aw, did I scare you?” Madison asks, pout on her lips as she crosses her arms.

“Out of all the places in this room,” Zoe grumbles.

Madison does it again, this time appearing right in front of Zoe. She’s wearing her signature smirk again, the taunt obvious on her face.

“You told me to show them transmutation,” Madison shrugs.

Zoe rolls her eyes, sidestepping Madison and walking away from her as she states, “I’m not playing transmutation tag with you, Madison.”

“Glad you learned your lesson from last time,” Madison says following her.

“Yeah, thanks for nothing, by the way,” Zoe mutters with a scowl.

Madison stops in her tracks, quirking an eyebrow. “You can’t _seriously_ be mad about that still?”

Zoe spins, crossing her arms. “Are you serious right now?”

“We’re even,” Madison argues.

And Mallory doesn’t quite understand the argument going on here, but she figures it has something to do with Madison dying the second time. She and the other students watch quietly, afraid to speak.

“You’re unbelievable,” Zoe scoffs.

Madison scowls. “Whatever, I’m out of here.”

With a flick of her wrist she opens the door.

“Madison,” Zoe sighs. “Stay.”

“No.”

Madison begins to walk out the door, but Zoe closes it with a flick of her wrist, keeping it closed by holding her hand out.

“Hey!” Madison shouts indignantly.

Zoe doesn’t look like she’s going to budge any time soon. Mallory watches Madison’s jaw set and her eyes narrow as they stare at each other, hands quaking by their sides. Mallory can feel the power of the magic these two hold, can tell that together it’s something special, but pitted against each other can wreak havoc.

She decides to do her part, using her own telekinesis to help Madison fling the door open.

(Mallory figures it’s the easiest way to diffuse the tension.)

Madison looks smug, giving Zoe a look before she’s walking out the door. Zoe huffs, following her out the door and reaching out to grab her wrist. She spins Madison around, talking in a low voice so her students can’t hear.

They can’t hear a word, but Mallory watches how gentle Zoe is now with Madison. She notices the way Madison’s shoulders slouch and how she mumbles a few words of her own before they both return and the blonde returns to her seat in the very back.

They don’t interact for the remainder of class, but Mallory knows there’s something there.

By the end of it, the two are chuckling and hip checking each other out the door.

Mallory smiles.

 

* * *

 

They’re sitting on the porch hours later, the moon high in the sky and Madison getting through her cigarette with ease. Zoe sits next to her in silence, a mug full of herbal tea in her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Madison says out loud, ending the comfortable silence they had going on.

Zoe’s lips quirk into a small frown as she turns to face the blonde. “Sorry for what?”

Madison doesn’t meet her eyes. Instead she takes a long drag, exhaling and watching the smoke in the air as she answers, “Not bringing you back to life. You know, during the Seven Wonders test.”

There’s a pause and then, “I was being a self righteous bitch.”

Zoe sighs, shaking her head. “That was so long ago,” she hums, gripping her mug a little tighter for the warmth.

If she’s being honest with herself, she only even mentioned it because Madison was getting on her nerves. The blonde just has an uncanny way of getting under Zoe’s skin, of somehow constantly being on her mind. She thinks about the way Madison was pressed up against her back in class, of how her voice was soft and dangerous, teetering the line of thoughts Zoe’s afraid to even let in.

Zoe tries to control the shiver that goes down her spine at the memory, sipping on her tea to keep her warm.

“Besides,” she adds. “You said we’re even.”

(Zoe doesn’t tell her about the disappointment when Madison was nowhere to be found when she woke up shortly after her experience with death.

She doesn’t tell her how sometimes she’d wake up and expect Madison to be sleeping in the bed across from her, ready to fling her into the wall if she wakes her up any earlier than ten against her own will.

She leaves out how she found out what happened to Madison through divination, how she screamed and cried and hit Kyle before he was put to the stake, how she obsessed over trying to find Madison and a way to bring her back until finally Cordelia told her it’s no use, not without Misty.

Zoe doesn’t tell her any of that at all.)

Madison rolls her eyes, casting a sideways glance at the brunette. “Are you going to let me fucking apologize or not?”

She’s wearing a teasing half smirk, half smile and Zoe can’t help it when she forms a smile of her own at the sight of Madison before her.

“Fine,” Zoe laughs softly, nudging Madison’s shoulder. “Apology accepted.”

Madison clicks her tongue, smiling fully now at Zoe. “Thought so,” she says before taking another drag.

They sit there, Madison smoking and Zoe drinking her tea, and something feels right about this moment.

(But Zoe won’t question it; she never does.)

 

* * *

 

Queenie is making her lunch in the kitchen while Zoe sits at the kitchen table, lesson plans spread out and pens scattered on top.

The front door opens and closes rather loudly, the sound of heels hitting loudly against the floor. Queenie knows without checking that it’s none other than Madison Montgomery. No one else walks that purposefully around the house.

“Could you be any louder?” Zoe deadpans, not even bothering to look up as Madison clacks her way into the kitchen.

“These are Valentino,” Madison informs her.

“We don’t care and you know it,” Queenie points out.

Madison simply sneers at her with no real malice behind it, and it’s only then that Queenie looks up from her lunch to see she’s got not one but two plastic cups filled with ice coffee, one in each hand.

Queenie watches as Madison sets one of the iced coffee down next to all of Zoe’s plans. It’s only then that Zoe looks up, an adorably confused expression on her face.

“What’s this?”

“Coffee,” Madison answers in a _duh_ voice.

This makes Zoe rolls her eyes. “I know it’s coffee. I’m not an idiot.”

“Debatable.”

Zoe chooses to ignore her comment and instead asks, “But _why_ did you get me coffee?”

Madison shrugs. “You’re looking a little dead. Trust me, I would know.”

Queenie holds in a snort at the comment, shaking her head at Madison’s attitude as usual. She takes a bite out of her lunch, watching the way Zoe makes a face at Madison for her comment.

(She thinks they’re the two most oblivious people on the planet.

Which, Zoe’s a smart girl so, it kind of surprises Queenie.)

“Do you have to be a such a dick every time you open your mouth or is that what Hollywood taught you?”

Queenie raises her eyebrows at Zoe, clearly impressed. Zoe meets her graze briefly, hiding a smile behind her quirked lips.

Madison scoffs, clearly not expecting Zoe’s response. “Whatever,” she grumbles, spinning around. “You’re welcome for the coffee, bitch!”

Zoe laughs, shaking her head as she returns to her lesson plans. She reaches out for the iced coffee and absentmindedly takes a sip. Queenie eyes her carefully, trying to figure out what she’s thinking.

“Was that weird to you?” she asks.

Zoe looks up with a tilt of her head. “What?”

“Madison,” Queenie explains. “She never buys anything for anyone other than herself, and today she decides to just waltz in with coffee for you that you didn’t ask for?”

They both know any time Madison spends her own money, it’s always going to be for herself. The only time it isn’t is when Cordelia forces her to run errands for the Coven, which usually turns into a debate before Madison is grumbling about how Cordelia “stupid” and “why doesn’t Zoe have to do this” (Zoe does, but she never complains).

Zoe simply shrugs, taking another sip of her coffee. “Madison’s weird, you know that.”

(She leaves out the part where Madison’s been different since hell.

That something tells Zoe that this time, Madison’s revival has forced her to feel everything she couldn’t last time around.)

“She would _never_ do that for anyone else in the house,” Queenie points out.

“Maybe she’s changing.”

Queenie scoffs. “Right.”

Zoe shakes her head and goes back to planning. Queenie eats the rest of her lunch wondering how oblivious her fellow Council member could be.

 

* * *

 

Madison wakes up gasping for air, sitting upright in her bed. Her breaths are short and uneven; she’s borderline hyperventilating.

There are tears in her eyes she can’t blink away, but she still makes out Zoe’s figure crawling onto her bed. It takes a moment, but she hears Zoe’s voice over her own breathing.

“Madison,” Zoe says, voice groggy from sleep but there’s concern laced in her words. “Madison, hey.”

The brunette gently holds her wrists and without hesitation Madison is gripping onto Zoe’s wrists in return as she attempts to gain control of her breathing. She has no idea what time it is, but she knows she’s in the academy, in her bed with Zoe.

She is not in hell.

She is here; this is real.

 _Zoe_ is real.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Zoe assures her, reaching up to move hair away from Madison’s face that stuck with sweat. “It’s okay, it wasn’t real. It was just a dream.”

Madison nods slowly, her breathing beginning to calm down. Zoe’s stroking her hair in a gentle way that helps Madison begin to relax. She leans into Zoe’s touch, still loosely holding onto her wrists.

“You’re okay,” Zoe murmurs, eyes searching Madison’s for any sort of sign to stop.

(She doesn’t find any.)

Madison does it without thinking; she drops her hands from Zoe’s wrists and instead reaches out for all of the girl. Her arms wrap around Zoe and she digs her face into the base of her neck, slowing down her breathing. Zoe only pauses for a moment before she’s shuffling closer and wrapping her arm around Madison’s middle. Madison feels her sit right next to her, one arm around her middle while the other runs a hand on her head, slow and reassuring.

“You’re with me, it’s okay.”

They stay like that for what seems like forever, but Zoe’s always been patient in moments like this. It’s not the first time Madison’s had one of these episodes. They occur every now and then since her return from hell.

Madison inhales Zoe’s scent, notices how she feels warm from the brunette’s touch. She feels like she’s safe with Zoe, that the nightmares can’t catch up to her here.

Finally, Madison pulls away when her breathing has slowed down enough and she doesn’t feel any tears in her eyes.

“They just feel so real,” Madison tells her roommate in an uncharacteristically small voice.

Zoe moves her arm so she can rub circles up and down Madison’s back in a slow pattern.

(Madison doesn’t notice the way she leans into Zoe’s touch almost like it’s instinctual.)

“I know,” Zoe responds quietly. “But they’re not.”

Except they _feel_ real no matter how many times Zoe tells her that. She knows Mallory brought her back, but in her nightmares there’s a man that pulls her out and brings chaos to the world, brings it down to its knees until it is reduced to nothing.

She doesn’t understand it, but it occurs every now and then, like a memory of some sort even though Madison knows for a fact that didn’t happen because, well, the Earth is definitely still intact.

Zoe holds her for a long period of time, rubbing circles on her back while she murmurs assuring words into Madison’s hair. Madison lets her head fall onto her shoulder and lets her hand rests on Zoe’s knee, like touching the brunette grounds her to the real word. In a sense, it works.

Zoe has always kept her grounded, even before all of this.

After awhile, Zoe tells her, “I’m going to make us some tea, okay?”

Madison looks up at her, eyes tired but alert.

“I’ll be right back,” the brunette promises, placing a hand on top of Madison’s that rests on her knee and giving it a small squeeze. “Stay here.”

“Okay,” Madison nods.

Zoe releases her and Madison tries not to wince at how she misses the contact almost instantly. She watches Zoe walk out the door, leaving a small crack open because somehow she _knows_ Madison can’t handle being alone in their bedroom right now, not with the door closed.

Madison rests her back on the wall behind her bed and tries not to think too much while she waits for Zoe to come back.

 

* * *

 

Misty wanders into the kitchen, gathering a few more bowls and cups for her and Cordelia’s magical concoction they’re cooking up in the greenhouse.

They stay late in the greenhouse often, putting together herbs and spices and greenery that together make powerful potions. It puts both of them at ease. For Cordelia, it lets her mindlessly do something so she’s not thinking about all the other things she has going on as a Supreme. For Misty, it keeps the image of hell far, far away. And anyway, they like working there at night - usually everyone’s fast asleep by then.

So Misty’s more than surprised when she finds Zoe in the kitchen when she walks in. The brunette is pouring tea into not one but two mugs, the kitchen silent save for the hot water hitting the bottom of the mug.

“Oh Zoe,” she says when Zoe turns at the sound of her footsteps. “I’m surprised you’re still awake.”

“I’m not - I wasn’t,” Zoe explains, placing the kettle down onto the counter and turning to face Misty. “I...Madison’s having nightmares again. I’m bringing up some tea for her.”

Misty’s brows furrow in confusion. “Again?”

Zoe hesitates, as if she’d just let out a big secret. “Um, yeah,” she nods. “Ever since she came back…”

Realization washes over Misty as she puts the pieces together. She’s had her fair share of nightmares since her own return, and though they haven’t completely gone away, they’ve gotten far less frequent now.

“Ah,” she nods in understanding. “You know, I used to have ‘em, too. Those were just about the worst darn things.”

Zoe nods empathetically, knowing Misty’s had own nightmares to deal with.

(One night Zoe had been wandering back from the study to find Cordelia’s door slightly open and the Supreme cradling Misty in her arms, hushing her hysterical pants.

Zoe quietly closed their door and moved on, knowing the moment was theirs and theirs alone.)

“I wish I could make them go away,” Zoe frowns.

Misty offers her a small smile as she replies, “You being there for her means more than you know, Zoe. You’re always there for her.”

At this, Zoe lets out a sigh and leans her her hip against the counter. She chews at her lip for a second before her words come spilling out.

“I wanted to hate her,” she admits in the quiet of the kitchen, looking at the ground rather than her fellow witch. “When she came back...I thought I would hate her - figured I _should_ hate her. She did so many - I should hate her.”

Misty stays quiet and lets Zoe take up the space between them with her words. Zoe was Misty’s first friend after surviving being burned at the stake by her own community; they’ve always a clear understanding of their friendship.

“But I don’t,” Zoe concludes, shaking her head. “I have so many reasons to hate Madison Montgomery and I somehow can’t hate her.”

The comment makes Misty resist the urge to smile. She isn’t surprised a bit by this confession, can tell by the way that Zoe’s walls came down for Madison shortly after Mallory brought her back that Zoe could never hate her. She could be mad at her - and Misty’s seen enough of their fights to know this for a fact - but she could never outright hate Madison.

(Misty saw it way back before, when only the five of them occupied the house and Kyle was still barely getting by with phrases and Zoe’s love.

She saw the way Madison and Zoe were the oddest combination of best friends, but Kyle drove a wedge between them and Madison would send daggers their away.

Misty knows they weren’t because Kyle had chosen Zoe, but quite the opposite: Zoe had chosen Kyle over her, and the blonde couldn’t do anything about it.

Misty didn’t know anyone too well at that point, but she could see the hurt in Madison’s somewhat dead eyes. Misty recognizes that look well.)

“You two make a good team,” Misty tells her honestly. “You balance each other out. She’s a bit much an’ maybe a little heartless sometimes, but you bring her back down.”

She shrugs and continues, “You believe in her. Delia says that’s what a girl like Madison needs the most - people who believe in her.”

Zoe only nods, gaze still off to the distance and not fixed on Misty, but the blonde doesn’t mind at all. She busies herself by opening cupboards and picking out bowls and cups for the concoction she and Cordelia are brewing up in the greenhouse.

“Something changed in her from her time in hell,” Zoe points out as she turns back to fuss over the tea that’s still steaming on the counter.

Misty only chuckles softly. “Everyone changes from their time in hell,” she informs the brunette. “We don’ wanna take living for granted anymore. Not when we know what being dead is like.”

Zoe picks up both mugs by the handles, turning to Misty before she goes.

“Good night, Misty.”

“Night Zoe,” she responds. “Take good care of Hollywood now.”

Zoe offers a small smile and a quick nod before she’s scurrying out of the kitchen and back to her bedroom.

Misty laughs softly, shaking her head. She can’t wait to tell Cordelia about this conversation and sigh about how much Zoe cares for Madison.

 

* * *

 

Another night, another nightmare.

Zoe’s lost count of how many Madison’s had; in the end it doesn’t matter to her. She just wants Madison to be okay.

Except instead of crawling back to her own bed once Madison’s calmed down enough to sleep again, Zoe finds herself waking up to Madison’s back comfortably pressed against her front after these nights.

(When Zoe begins to crawl out of bed one night, as she always does, Madison’s eyes are wide open, vulnerable as ever.

“Stay here.”

Her voice sounds so small and it almost breaks Zoe, how someone so fearless and cold can turn into a little girl haunted by nightmares. So she stays without hesitation, managing a nod as she makes herself comfortable next to Madison.)

All of this would be fine, really, except for the fact Zoe always wakes up before Madison in these situations and before she knows it she’s beginning to wonder what it’d be like to wake up to this scene everyday. She wonders what it would be like to expect to wake up to the scent of Madison’s shampoo and have her arm draped around the smaller girl’s waist as if this were normal.

But Zoe always bursts her own bubble because _what_ is she even thinking? She and Madison - no, that’s not them. Not at all. She’s letting herself get carried away and she tells herself it’s because she’s been lonely all these  years, that throwing herself into building up this Coven after Cordelia’s rise to Supreme is how she dealt with it all: Madison’s death, Kyle burning at the stake for killing Madison, all of it.

(It’s not like she was exactly happy before all of that, either.

She killed her boyfriend with her vagina and then tried to soothe her ache and loneliness by bringing Kyle back to life, a ghost of what he - and what _they_ \- could’ve been, had he not died.

And then there was Madison in the middle of it all.)

Plus, what would Madison even say if she woke up to find Zoe holding her in such an intimate way?

Zoe doesn’t want to find out - she’s somewhat afraid of the conversation they would have - so she gently peels herself off of Madison and her sleeping figure, ignores the way she feels cold without Madison in her arms, and slides back into her own bed before Madison even wakes up.

Madison doesn’t say a word about it when she does wake up, and Zoe thinks this is the best course of action.

(She hates how she longs to hold Madison again, that she finds comfort in the way Madison trusts her in a way she doesn’t with anyone else.)

 

* * *

 

Coco is sitting with Mallory in the library of all places on a sunny afternoon. She swears she’s allergic to this place, but her best friend’s promised her they can go out and actually do something once she’s done reading up or whatever the heck she’s got in her hands.

Coco lets out a soft sigh, eyeing the book Mallory’s reading before lazily looking up to see Zoe just as engaged in her own readings, quite a few books scattered around her as she dives into whatever words are on her page.

It kind of makes Coco smile, really. How alike Mallory and Zoe are.

The door to the library pulls open, followed by the sound of heeled boots against the hard floor. Coco looks up to see Madison strutting in like she always does: with purpose and confidence. Coco kind of envies that, if she’s being honest.

“Hey String Bean,” Madison says to Zoe, who is still very much comfortably curled up with her books on one of the seats. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Zoe doesn’t even look up from her current book as she replies, “I’m surprised you know this room exists.”

“You’re fucking hilarious,” the blonde deadpans, adding a dramatic roll of her eyes.

Zoe doesn’t respond; she only smiles down at the book she’s got propped up in her lap.

“Anyway,” Madison continues, crossing her arms. “You need to clear your schedule tomorrow afternoon.”

“No,” Zoe immediately responds, flipping the page of her book.

Coco can’t help but be entertained by this exchange. Before her return, Coco had only ever heard stories about Madison. She hasn’t interacted with her all that much, but the way Madison and Zoe go back and forth all the time is something to be noted.

(Mallory is completely unbothered.

She’s used to it at this point - instead opting to stay buried deep into her reading.)

Madison makes a noise of slight irritation, a small cross between a frown and a pout on her lips. When Zoe still doesn’t bother to give her attention, she narrows her eyes slightly, focusing her gaze on the book in Zoe’s lap. A second later, it shuts firmly and Madison eyes Zoe expectantly.

“Hey!”  Zoe yelps, barely pulling her hands away in time. She finally looks up to glare at the blonde.

Mallory finally looks up at the commotion while Coco hasn’t been able to tear her eyes away.

“Oh, so now I have your attention,” Madison smirks, placing a hand on her hip.

“Do you have to be such a bitch all the time?” Zoe snaps, standing from her seat filled with various books.

“It’s a personality trait,” Madison shrugs, a devilish smile on her face. “Thought you would’ve figured that out by now, bookworm.”

“God, I’m going to kill you one day.”

Madison raises her eyebrows in amusement, that dangerous smirk reaching her lips again as she says, “Looking forward to it, babe.”

Her voice is smooth and low, and suddenly Coco feels like she’s intruding on a moment - which, she’s totally not. They were literally just yelling at each other not even two seconds ago. But there’s something weird between Zoe and Madison; everyone’s been able to pick up on that the second Madison walked into the academy. It’s something almost palpable, the way the two of them just _go_ together oddly enough.

Coco glances at her best friend, who in return rolls her eyes at the entire exchange.

Mallory cleary knows something Coco doesn’t.

Zoe works her jaw as Madison looks at her smugly, the blonde clearly having the upperhand in this situation. She’s evidently thrown Zoe off her usual rhythm with her last comment.

“I’m not doing whatever the fuck you came to ask me to do tomorrow,” Zoe states, crossing her arms.

Madison smiles and tilts her head as she informs Zoe, “You have to. Cordy said so.”

Zoe makes a face at that. “What?”

At the same time Mallory says, “Stop calling her Cordy, it’s weird.”

“Shut up Sabrina the teenage witch,” Madison retorts without missing a beat or even so much as looking at Mallory.

Coco gapes, but Mallory only scoffs and shakes her head.

Madison then explains, “There’s a sponsor or whatever that wants to meet about working something out with the academy. Our lovely Supreme is sending the two of us to downtown to represent the Coven.”

“Why us? Actually,” Zoe smirks a little. “Why you?”

The blonde makes a face at her before she answers, “Since I don’t have an actual position in this Coven yet, you’re the official Council member that’s going. She thinks I’ll be good for the whole socializing in front of camera and getting us what we want.”

“So your nasty Hollywood ways have finally found a purpose,” Zoe comments, but the tease is evident in her voice and she smiles in amusement at her roommate.

Madison rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide the smile that forms on her lips.

Coco thinks it’s really weird, how one second they’re yelling at each other and the next they’re smiling like idiots.

“Come on,” Madison says, already spinning on her heels.

Zoe frowns in confusion. “Where are we going?”

Madison turns back to Zoe, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t think I’m letting dress yourself tomorrow, do you? We _both_ have to look good.”

At this, Zoe scoffs, but she’s quickly stacking her books as neatly as possible on the desk by the chair she’d been occupying. She waves goodbye to Coco and Mallory before she’s following Madison out of the library, laughing at something the blonde says.

Coco immediately turns to Mallory and asks, “Are they always like that?”

Mallory nods without hesitation. “Pretty much,” she confirms. “It’s their twisted way of flirting.”

“Are you sure they’re not dating already?”

It makes her best friend laugh with the shake of her head.

“No way. Those two haven’t figured it out yet.”

 

* * *

 

Cordelia ends up sending Zoe and Madison to more “business meetings” as she likes to call them. They’re not too often - they come up every few weeks, the rest of the deals are sealed through phone calls with Cordelia - but they’re there and Madison always ends up driving despite Cordelia insisting they can get the girls a driver.

“I’m surprised you don’t want to be chauffeured around,” Zoe admits as she leans back in her passenger’s seat after another meeting.

Madison has been cursing about stupid downtown traffic for five minutes now, and when Zoe even does so much as open her mouth to ask if she wants Zoe to drive instead, Madison sends her a nasty glare and Zoe can only rolls her eyes before closing her mouth again.

“I like being in charge,” Madison states matter-of-factly. “And chauffeurs drive too fucking slow and they’re too damn courteous.”

It’s then that Madison cuts someone off to make a right turn just before a red light, resulting in a horn being honked at them and Madison shouting profanities.

“Clearly,” Zoe murmurs.

Madison lets out a frustrated groan when they’re met with standstill traffic - which, not surprising at this time of the afternoon - and reaches out for her pack of cigarettes. Zoe immediately smacks her hand away.

“Ow! Bitch,” she frowns, eyebrows furrowing just above her shades.

“I told you no smoking while you drive,” Zoe tells her.

“You and Cordelia are the same,” Madison grumbles.

Zoe only shrugs, looking out the window.

“Speaking of good old Cordy,” Madison continues, leaning back in her seat.

Zoe prepares herself for another bag on their Supreme - it’s one of Madison’s favorite pastimes, even though Zoe knows Madison cares about Cordelia just as much as everyone else, even if she’s not willing to admit it -  but what comes out of Madison’s mouth next takes her by surprise.

“She asked me if I would become the newest member of the Council.”

Zoe turns to face her, but Madison’s expression is unreadable behind her big, black shades. She’s facing forward even though they both know they won’t be moving in this traffic for awhile.

And it’s not that Zoe doesn’t think it would be a good idea - okay _maybe_ she has her doubts - but she figures Cordelia would’ve at least mentioned this to her and Queenie in some way.

“Oh?” is the best Zoe can manages when she can’t read Madison’s features.

Madison scoffs, and Zoe knows it’s because of her response.

“Guess she thinks I’m good at this,” the blonde shrugs. “The talking and the hand shaking and all of that.”

“You are,” Zoe confirms, and she means it.

Of course, Zoe’s always going to be the brains behind their little dynamic duo for Cordelia and she knows when things are getting too heated - when _Madison_ is getting too heated - but Madison Montgomery doesn’t back down from what she wants and she will get what she wants for the Coven, even if business men in their pressed suits and cocky smiles don’t think so.

“I’m actually the one who asked for you to keep coming with me,” she admits quietly.

It makes Madison turn around and tilt her head curiously at Zoe. Even though Zoe still can’t see her eyes, she knows Madison is looking at her intently, trying to sniff out bullshit.

“You’re good at this Madison, better than I’d ever be,” she tells her. “This Coven needs you.”

The blonde’s lips form into a smirk, so textbook Madison Montgomery that Zoe has to stop herself from rolling her eyes because she totally saw this look coming; she basically fell right into it.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Madison starts, her voice lower than normal. “I’d think you’re trying to find any excuse to hang out with me.”

Zoe snorts at the comment, looking away so Madison doesn’t see the slight flush of her cheeks as she replies, “You’re still a pain in my ass.”

Traffic moves, and Madison’s attention is back on the road and getting them home as fast as possible.

But not before she grins in her wicked way as she tells Zoe, “Keep telling yourself that, Princess.”

Zoe laughs, grabbing Madison’s phone to change the dumb Top 40 playlist she has going.

(And maybe she _does_ find herself enjoying her time with Madison these days.

Madison totally doesn’t need to know that.)

 

* * *

 

Cordelia doesn’t realize how much she’d missed Madison until Mallory mysteriously brings her back.

Although Madison is _difficult_ to say the least, Cordelia notices the way she’s changed this time around. She notes the way Madison’s somewhat stopped taking everything for granted, how there’s more compassion in her than before. And even though mean words leave her mouth more often than not when they speak to each other, Cordelia sees the way her eyes hold no malice and Madison’s lips have to stop themselves from forming the smallest of smiles.

She’s missed the kid, to say the least.

There’s something else different about her, too. Cordelia doesn’t quite understand why or how, but there’s a newfound dedication to the Coven that she’s never before seen in Madison. It’s subtle, but there, and this is why Cordelia adds her to the Council.

The big doors to Cordelia’s office open and she looks up to see Madison enter, a few files tucked under her arm. It’s weird, putting Madison in an environment where she has things to do, but the girl’s always needed a purpose and Cordelia’s found the best way to fulfill it.

“Alright let’s get this out of the way, I’ve got shit to do,” Madison announces as a greeting, unceremoniously dropping the files onto Cordelia’s desk as she takes a seat across from the Supreme.

Cordelia smiles, reaching over to take half. “What, you have a hot date or something?”

Madison sneers. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Cordelia chuckles at the comment, and she looks up to see Madison smiling down as she arranges her files. It’s strange, the dynamic they have, but Cordelia cares about Madison like her own daughter - really, Madison’s whole act screams problematic teenager - and that’s enough for them.

Madison’s hidden smile turns into a scowl as she says, “Fuck. I forgot my laptop.”

“You only live upstairs,” Cordelia reminds her smugly.

The young blonde snaps her head up to glare at her Supreme, unimpressed by the way Cordelia isn’t as hesitant to sass her as she used to be.

Before Madison can begrudgingly stand up and make her way out, Zoe enters the room, holding up a laptop.

“I think you forgot something,” the brunette states, eyes bright and an amused expression dawning on her face.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock,” Madison scoffs, holding out her hand expectantly.

Zoe lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head as she walks over and hands the laptop over to Madison gently. Cordelia smiles as she watches the interaction.

“A thank you wouldn’t kill you,” Zoe jokes.

“Thank you Zoe,” Cordelia tells her with an appreciative smile before she jokingly asks, “Care to join us? I know just how much you _love_ going through these.”

“Nerd,” Madison deadpans.

“As thrilling as that sounds,” Zoe chuckles, grinning at Cordelia. “Coco’s taking me and Mallory out for lunch.”

“Cute, a sad little witch breakfast club.”

Zoe makes a face at Madison, to which Madison gives her a cheeky smirk in return.

“Sad you weren’t invited?”

Cordelia watches their exchange with mild interest. She’s always known that Madison and Zoe were always different, that if anyone was ever going to be able to figure Madison out, it’d be Zoe Benson. She’s noticed a shift since Madison’s return, sees how well they balance each other out.

“Just bring me back something and I guess I’ll get over this heartbreak,” Madison says, letting out a dramatic sigh.

Zoe rolls her eyes, but smiles anyway. “I’ll think about it. Would you like anything, Cordelia?”

“No, but thank you Zoe,” Cordelia answers with a shake of her head, reaching over to give Zoe’s hand an affectionate squeeze.

Zoe’s been like a first daughter to Cordelia. The past few years have been quite a lot, but Zoe’s been right there for Cordelia every step of the way. She’s watched the girl blossom from a shy and scared child into one of the most powerful witches in their coven, a true leader in her own right.

(She’s witnessed the pain of love from Zoe, too.

First with Kyle, then with - or maybe _always_ with - Madison; the way she could never really get over her roommate’s death.

Madison’s return has sparked new light in Zoe’s eyes - Cordelia notices that, too.)

Zoe beams at her Supreme, reciprocating with a squeeze of her own before letting go.

“I’ll let you two get to work then,” she announces, turning on her heels to go.

“Don’t miss me too much while I’m out, Princess,” Madison calls after her.

Zoe pauses by the open door, turning to give Madison an exaggerated roll of her eyes. It makes Madison beam and Cordelia hides a smile.

“I’ll try not to,” she promises with feigned sincerity.

Madison snorts. “Dork.”

“Brat,” Zoe quips back before waving to Cordelia and slipping of the room.

Cordelia looks at Madison just in time to see a soft laugh leave her lips, a genuine smile on her face as she shakes her head.

“You two get along well these days,” she comments as Madison sets her laptop down, pulling the screen up.

“Maybe she’s not as terrible these days,” Madison shrugs, not even bothering to meet Cordelia’s gaze. “The wardrobe upgrade helps, I guess.”

But Cordelia knows it’s more than that, had always known even back when they were fighting for a boy because Madison didn’t have Zoe’s attention anymore. So she keeps her gaze fixed on the younger witch, doing her best to hide the knowing smile.

“She never gave up on you, you know.”

“What?”

Madison finally meets her gaze, confusion written on her face.

Cordelia shifts in her seat, leaning back comfortably as she explains, “Zoe tried so hard to find you after she found out. She tried for weeks to find your bones so we could bring you back. She couldn’t find them all though, no matter how hard she looked and how many nights she stayed up.”

“I’d never seen her so broken,” she admits, letting out a quiet sigh and shaking her head before she looks at Madison again. “She has never once given up on you, Madison, and I think that says a lot.”

Cordelia’s somewhat surprised when Madison doesn’t spew out some deflecting response right away. Instead the girl sits there, processing her Supreme’s words slowly.

“She’s too nice for her own good,” Madison concludes, avoiding Cordelia’s eyes as she messes around on her laptop.

“Maybe,” Cordelia shrugs. “Or maybe she cares the most about the people important to her.”

Madison’s eyes snap up at Cordelia in an accusatory manner. “What are you trying to say, Cordy?”

And Cordelia knows better than to fight with her, than to take the bait Madison’s dangling in front of her. She can see Madison’s walls coming back up, see the way she’s going to deny anything Cordelia will say about her.

“Nothing,” she insists with a shrug. “It’s...you deserve good things, Madison.”

Madison stares at her for a moment longer before she fixes a look of irritation on her face.

“Whatever,” she mumbles. “Can we just get this shit over with?”

Cordelia can’t help but smile at that, knowing that the conversation is over, but that Madison isn’t shutting out her words completely. She opens one of the files Madison brought and gets to work.

(“Thanks,” Madison says softly much later, when all their work is done and she’s hovering by the door.

Cordelia looks up and one look at the girl tells her she doesn’t need to ask why. She can see the hint of vulnerability and genuine appreciate on her features, by how she’s slouching a little and nervously tinkering with a ring.

She smiles.

“Of course.”

She thinks Madison and Zoe will be alright.)

 

* * *

 

Madison wishes the nightmares would stop.

They’re not as frequent anymore - not since Zoe started sleeping in her bed - but they still happen and Madison isn’t sure she can keep doing this anymore.

But even when her worst nightmares keep her up, Zoe is there.

She’s here now, arms draped around Madison as she sleeps. She keeps Madison close, like the nightmares can’t get her if Zoe holds her tight.

In a sense, it works. Madison is able to fall back asleep in the safety of Zoe’s embrace, nightmares not returning.

Sunlight is beginning to peek through the curtains of their window, signaling the new day. Madison still keeps her eyes closed though, trying to savor every moment.

She feels the breathing behind her shift.

Zoe is awake.

Madison knows what comes next.

She knows in a few minutes, Zoe will unwrap herself from Madison’s body and crawl back into her own bed as if nothing happened. This is what Zoe does every time, and every time Madison tries not to be disheartened.

The bed is always noticeably bigger and colder after Zoe leaves. She doesn’t understand why Zoe does it; it’s not like they never shared the same bed before this anyway.

But it’s become one of those things between them, that type of thing that neither of them want to bring up. It doesn’t happen often, considering the way they’re open and always confronting each other - Madison especially.

But there are things like this, things that are so intimate and gentle that bringing them out into the daylight and not for the quiet moments they share is too much for either of them to bear.

_You deserve good things, Madison._

She feels Zoe beginning to pull away from her like she does every morning they find themselves in this position, thinking Madison is asleep every time.

(And usually, Madison lets her think that, lets her move away.)

Madison decides it’s enough though.

“You don’t have to leave every morning,” she suddenly says, voice groggy from still being half asleep.

It makes Zoe freeze, hands fully off of Madison but still sitting up in bed.

Madison swallows. “You can stay.”

It’s so quiet that Madison thinks Zoe might not have heard her, but after an agonizing moment, Zoe sinks back into the mattress.

“O-okay,” she murmurs behind Madison.

The blonde lets out a content sigh, shifting until she can feel Zoe pressed against her back. It takes a few seconds, but Zoe’s arm is hesitantly draping around Madison’s waist again to keep her close. Madison bites her lip to hide her smile - even if Zoe can’t actually see her face - because this, this is nice and safe.

Zoe is nice and safe.

They lay in silence for a little longer, both of them content to be where they are until Zoe finally speaks up.

“Have you always been awake when I leave?”

Madison decides she won’t play games for this one.

(She never does in these fragile moments.)

“Yes.”

“Oh” is all Zoe says, and then, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted me to stay.”

“I thought you wanted to go,” Madison replies simply.

It’s a balancing act between them; after years of fighting, it’s difficult to read each other in times like this. They try to give each other what they think the other wants, putting each other before themselves.

“Go back to sleep,” Zoe tells her quietly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Madison does what she’s told without a word, this time smiling into her pillow.

When she wakes up Zoe is still asleep behind her, their fingers intertwined underneath the sheets.

Madison lets herself have this, lets herself enjoy this without consequence because maybe she’s had enough suffering to last her an eternity, she thinks.

 

* * *

 

Something shifts between Zoe and Madison, everyone can tell.

They just can’t exactly tell _what_ shifted, really.

 

* * *

 

On Tuesday, Mallory walks into the library and finds not only Zoe but Madison already occupying a corner of the room. Zoe has at least three books next to her and one in her hands, reading intently. Madison is sitting right next to her, shoulders touching, on her laptop doing what Mallory assumes is her work as a Council member.

Zoe notices Mallory’s entrance and looks up with a smile. “Hi Mallory.”

Mallory reminds herself to smile despite the weird scene she’s walked in on. “Hey guys.”

“Hey little Supreme,” Madison greets, not even looking up from her phone.

Mallory grimaces at the nickname, hates that she’s a constant reminder her rise comes only  when Cordelia falls. But for now Cordelia is healthy and happy, that’s all Mallory wants.

Zoe picks up on the way the name makes Mallory uncomfortable and nudges Madison with her shoulder. It makes the blonde finally tear her eyes away from her phone and frown.

“What?”

“Don’t call her that,” Zoe scolds.

“I’ll call her what I want,” Madison snaps.

Zoe sighs. “Stop being a bitch.”

“It’s my personality,” Madison deadpans before turning her attention back on her phone.

Zoe gives Mallory an apologetic look, to which Mallory shakes her head to let her know it’s fine because it’s Madison and she should expect nothing less. Mallory notices the way Madison leans into Zoe and how Zoe doesn’t even flinch.

It’s a weird sight to see, but Mallory can’t help but feel like things are finally falling together.

 

* * *

 

On Friday, Queenie is in the study with Zoe and Madison when Madison hangs up the phone and goes off on a tirade. The only words Queenie can understand in her outburst is “stupid warlocks” but other than that, Queenie feels like Madison’s being a little dramatic.

Madison is also probably the biggest whiner in the world, so Queenie decides she’s not going to be the one dealing with this. Instead, she looks at Zoe expectantly.

Zoe sighs quietly before stepping in and grabbing Madison by the shoulders.

“I need you to calm down,” Zoe informs her.

Her sudden presence makes Madison stop right then and there, shoulders dropping as she exhales for the first time she she began her tirade.

“Men are arrogant dicks,” Madison concludes with a huff and a glare.

Zoe nods “They are,” she agrees. “But we have to be smart about this. We have to make sure they don’t back out on this.”

“Well if they don’t want to listen to Cordelia and the Council then they can suck my-”

“ _Madison._ ”

Something about Zoe’s tone makes Madison shut the hell up, and Queenie is equally as impressed as she is relieved that she’s finally stopped talking. She quirks an eyebrow at the brunette.

“Did you use Concilium on her?”

Madison whips her head to glare at Queenie. “The fuck she didn’t,” she spits out.

Queenie puts her hands up in surrender, attempting - but failing - to hide an amused smile.

Zoe sighs. “Just, calm down. We’ll get it worked out. We’ll try to talk to them again tomorrow, and if that doesn’t work we’ll have to go out there.”

Madison groans, shrugging Zoe’s hands off of her. “Okay, fine.”

Zoe smiles at her just a little. Madison feigns irritation at her, but Queenie catches the smallest of smiles on her faces.

She thinks Madison’s finally going soft.

It’s not a bad thing at all.

 

* * *

 

On Sunday morning, Misty wants to make breakfast for morning gathering, to give Cordelia one less thing to worry about.

She decides that she’ll have the Council - along with Mallory and Coco - help her with it. Her first stop is Madison and Zoe’s shared bedroom and she knocks softly.

Once.

Twice.

Still no answer.

After hesitating for a moment, Misty decides to push the door open gently and peek in.

She figured the two would be somewhat awake by now, considering weekends in the Coven allowed for a later morning gathering. However, when she looks directly across from her, there are not one but two bodies underneath Madison’s sheets.

It takes a moment, but she recognizes the two sleeping figures as Madison and Zoe, the blonde curled into Zoe. Zoe’s arms drape around Madison, but they have a hold on her waist that makes it clear she’s not going to let go anytime soon.

It’s sweet and intimate and not at all like them.

The sight makes Misty swoon.

A gleeful smile spreads on her face as she takes one last look before quietly shutting the door. She thinks Queenie, Mallory, and Coco will be enough of a crew for this morning. She’ll leave Zoe and Madison in peace for now.

 

* * *

 

Takes over a week before Zoe has finally driven herself insane with all the thinking she’s doing.

Or, more so, all the thinking _Madison_ has her doing.

Madison’s return from the dead had made Zoe nervous. They were at each other’s throats when she last saw the girl, both of them fighting over some boy who really had no business being alive, not in the way he was anyway. But Madison Montgomery proved Zoe wrong - she has a knack for doing that - and somehow they found a balance. Once Madison learned Zoe had sent Kyle to the stake for killing her, the aggression dissipated and they found a stable relationship between them: one that didn’t involve a ridiculous competition or boys.

And it was easy...until it wasn’t.

It was easy until Madison’s walls started coming down one by one. The playful nudges, the genuine smiles, the intimacy of the night when nightmares keep Madison up, waking up to Madison in her arms; it’s all too much.

Zoe’s bed hasn’t been touched in weeks now, not since Madison suggested they fall asleep together so Madison doesn’t get nightmares. It works, but Zoe’s heart aches when she wakes up even when an adorably sleepy Madison murmurs her good mornings because she believes somehow that she can’t have this. That having Madison in this way isn’t going to work because it’s just who they are.

Zoe somehow can’t let herself have this, not when her last two relationships are proof of her inability to be happy and not lose someone.

She killed Charlie because she’d wanted to have sex; he was her first love.

Kyle died and maybe should’ve stayed dead. Resurrected Kyle was in no way the same person he was before, and that’s on her and Madison for even messing with death in that way.

But she and Madison have been treading a fine line since she’s returned, maybe even before that.

Zoe is finding it harder and harder to keep her emotions at bay, to not just press a soft kiss on Madison’s skin when she’s sleeping so peacefully, nightmares far away. She finds it hard not to smile like an idiot when Madison shoots her a text while she’s working in the office with Cordelia, an insult popping up on Zoe’s screen. It’s hard to not immediately light up when Madison walks into a room, eyes looking for Zoe and twinkling just a little when she finds her.

All of these things are becoming too much because Zoe somehow won’t let herself have this, won’t set herself up for failure.

And who’s to say Madison wants her, anyway?

This is how Zoe ends up wandering up to Cordelia’s bedroom while Madison showers, knocking twice before walking in. She’s somewhat surprised to see Mallory already inside, sitting across from Cordelia’s on the bed. They both acknowledge her with a smile.

“Hi,” Zoe says, suddenly shy. “I hope I’m not interrupting something.”

“You’re not,” Cordelia promises. “Mallory and I were just catching up on our days.”

There’s tea on the nightstand and Zoe knows Mallory brewed it just for the two of them. She smiles a little, taking in the fact Mallory is taking the best care of Cordelia in any way she can. There’s a lot to learn from their current Supreme, and Mallory - along with the rest of the Coven - doesn’t want to see her go any time soon.

“Hey Zoe,” Mallory smilies, so young and brilliant as always.

Zoe smiles at her in return, making her way towards the bed.

“How are you, Zoe?”

And it’s not even like Cordelia has to ask because she just _knows_ when something’s bothering Zoe. She always does; the years they’ve spent together have built a relationship that Zoe’s never had with someone like this. Sure, her own mother loved her completely, but they weren’t this close, not by any means.

Zoe sighs, taking a spot on the bed next to Mallory who is more than willing to scoot over and make room. “I’m thinking too much.”

“You’re always thinking,” Cordelia teases with a smile.

Zoe makes a face at her while Mallory giggles softly.

Cordelia gives her an apologetic smile before leaning over and giving her a squeeze for reassurance. “What are you thinking about?”

Zoe bites her lip nervously, for once the name is afraid to leave her mouth.

Mallory seems to know better though because she asks, “Is it Madison?”

Both Cordelia and Zoe turn to face her. Zoe looks at her with her brows furrowed together while Cordelia tries to scold Mallory as subtly as possible.

(So maybe Cordelia and Mallory talk about how oblivious Madison and Zoe are sometimes.

So does the whole fucking house, big deal.)

“How did you know that?” Zoe asks, surprised.

Mallory either doesn’t even notice Cordelia’s gaze or is choosing to completely ignore it. She rolls her eyes like it’s _obvious_ and scoffs.

“You two have more sexual tension than Cordelia and Misty did for the first few weeks after Misty came back.”

“Mallory!” Cordelia chastises.

“Excuse me?” Zoe gapes.

Mallory flashes a somewhat apologetic smile towards Cordelia before returning her attention to Zoe. She shrugs as she replies, “The constant flirting? Yeah, it’s getting out of hand.”

Zoe sputters in disbelief. “We don’t - we’re not - Madison and I never - What? No way!”

She turns to Cordelia, trying to see what she thinks of this situation. Cordelia is still gaping at Mallory, but Mallory is now giving her a look as if to say _are you going to argue about this?_

“Delia?”

Cordelia huffs, giving Mallory a look that makes it clear she won’t be getting away with her previous comment before softening her gaze at Zoe. She places a hand on Zoe’s leg and gives her a knowing look.

“Tell us what you’re thinking about,” she prompts with encouragement and a newfound gentleness in her tone.

Zoe relaxes just a little, shoulders slouching a bit as she begins, “I’m afraid of letting it all become too real, that...I don’t know. I don’t want to…”

She can’t seem to find the right words; for someone who enjoys reading words written by others, she’s having a hard time putting out her own.

In an instant, Cordelia immediately understands what she’s talking about. She sighs softly, her hand moving to rest on top of Zoe’s and grabbing the brunette’s hand in her own.

“Your past relationships don’t define you,” Cordelia tells her. “You are made to love and be loved, Zoe. We grow from our past - you know that better than anyone.”

Zoe nods slowly, taking in Cordelia’s words.

The Supreme continues, “You can’t keep denying yourself happiness and love because you’re afraid of what will happen. I see you and Madison, you’re happy together. Both of you need to stop putting yourselves through suffering because you think you deserve it.”

Zoe looks up then, tilting her head as she asks, “Is Madison…?”

“Into you?” Mallory asks, and she gets a warning look from Cordelia but continues anyway. “Dude, she’s literally always flirting with you.”

Cordelia reaches over and softly smacks Mallory’s knee for her blunt response. Mallory shrugs as if she knows she’s right - because she is - and looks at Zoe again.

“You guys are good together,” she promises. “She’s happier with you.”

“And she’s different than the girl she used to be,” Cordelia reminds Zoe. “You’ve noticed that too, haven’t you?”

Zoe thinks about the looks Madison gives her sometimes, when it’s just the two of them and no one else. She thinks about how Madison asked her to stay with her after the nightmares, how she doesn’t push Zoe away anymore. She thinks about how much Madison loves the Coven, how she cares for Cordelia.

“She is,” Zoe agrees.

“So,” Mallory pipes up again, smirk on her face. “What are you gonna do about it, lover girl?”

“Mallory!”

Zoe laughs.

She loves her sisters.

 

* * *

 

Madison’s already beginning to fall asleep when she hears the door open. She peers over her sheets to find Zoe entering the room, a small smile on her face.

Madison fights the instinct to smile at the sight of it, at the sight of _her._

“Where have you been?” she asks as Zoe slips into bed with her, like she always does every night now.

“With Cordelia and Mallory,” Zoe responds, pulling the covers up above both of them. “Just catching up with them.”

“The wonder child somewhere without Coco? I’m shocked,” Madison mocks.

“Be nice,” Zoe says, but she laughs anyway.

Madison loves making Zoe laugh, loves to hear it vibrate from her chest.

She curls into Zoe like it’s second nature. She feels safe the moment Zoe’s arms wrap around her. She sighs contentedly as she closes her eyes, ready for sleep to take her away.

It’s silent for a few moments and then, “Madison?”

Madison hums, unable to find the energy to give Zoe an actual response.

Zoe turns on the light without moving out of bed and shifts upwards a little so she can actually look at Madison. Madison pouts a little, unsure of what’s going on.

“How long have you liked me?”

Madison frowns at this, also shifting up on the bed. “What?”

“I asked how long you’ve liked me.”

She leans her back against the headboard, hiding her mild panic. She doesn’t quite know what Zoe means, and nothing in the brunette’s face gives her away.

So she goes for the easy route.

“Since you stopped wearing clothes from the Gap,” she shrugs.

Zoe rolls her eyes. “I’m being serious.”

“Me too.”

“ _Madison._ ”

“ _Zoe,_ ” Madison mocks.

If she’s being honest, she’s starting to get a little annoyed because _what_ does Zoe want from her? And at this hour? Madison was clearly on her way to falling asleep until Zoe just had to speak up.

Madison bets it’s because Zoe’s thinking too god damn loud. She does that sometimes.

“Can you just answer the goddamn question?”

Madison looks at her incredulously. “What does ‘like’ even mean, Zoe?”

Zoe sighs, also getting irritated. “I mean,” she begins, clearly trying to stay calm. “How long have you been flirting with me?”

The new clarity of the question takes Madison by surprise. She blinks as her initial response, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. One look at Zoe tells her that the girl isn’t joking by any means, that she’s trying to find an honest answer.

“Where did you get that idea?”

(If Madison’s being honest, she’s afraid that this is where Zoe lets her down.

That Zoe says it was always going to be _Kyle._ That it’ll always be someone else over Madison.

The thought terrifies her.)

“Can you _please_ answer the question?”

There’s no irritation in Zoe’s tone this time. No, her words are quieter, needier. It’s almost a whine, like this will kill Zoe if she doesn’t find out within the next minute.

Madison sighs. “Fine, you want to know how long I’ve liked you?” When Zoe gives her an expectant look she answers, “Since you didn’t leave me for dead at that frat party.”

Her answer surprises Zoe, her mouth falling open into a small ‘o’ shape.

“I thought…What about Kyle?”

Madison scoffs, looking away. She can’t bare to face Zoe, to know that her world could come falling down in the following seconds. But she’ll be honest with her because Madison knows in her last life, she let her fear of rejection from Zoe drives her to do terrible things.

“What about him? I was dead and wanted to feel something,” she explains with a shrug. “He was the only person who understood it, kind of. And I…”

She falters this time, looking down so her hair falls around her face and Zoe can’t read her expression behind the blonde curtain she’s created. She can still feel Zoe’s eyes on her though, can still feel her waiting with baited breath.

“I wanted you, Zoe,” she confesses in the quiet of their bedroom. “I always wanted you.”

There’s a moment of silence before Zoe asks, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Madison scoffs, finally looking back at Zoe. “I didn’t deserve you. You were...you were this bright, good kid who deserved so much better than shitty old me.”

“Madison-”

“No,” Madison shakes her head. “I was a bitch and I know it. Even now...even after everything I’ve been through, I still don’t think I deserve you.”

It’s getting more difficult to speak, her throat is closing up and she thinks she feels tears well in her eyes but she won’t cry. Not in front of Zoe, not like this. She looks away again, blinking her tears away.

“Mads,” Zoe murmurs.

It’s soft and reverent, like a prayer leaving her lips. Madison wishes Zoe wouldn’t say her name like that because it’s starting to hurt how soft Zoe is when it comes to her.

“Hey,” Zoe says, shifting in front of Madison. She waits until the blonde finally looks up and gives Madison the smallest of smiles. “I’ve had enough self despair and wallowing bullshit to last me for a few lifetimes, and probably for the both of us.”

Madison doesn’t quite understand what she means, but she can’t even ask because Zoe is leaning forward and placing the softest of kisses against her lips and everything in Madison’s world shifts.

It’s not their first kiss, but it’s their first one that actually _means_ something.

So Madison kisses her back. Of course she does. This is all she’s wanted for who knows how long now. Zoe still tastes like chapstick and smells like vanilla shampoo, and Madison feels warmth settling in her stomach as she reaches out, pulling Zoe closer to her.

She never thought she’d get a chance like this, to hold Zoe in this way, to find comfort in Zoe’s lips rather than aggression.

Zoe smiles into the kiss and Madison all but melts, allowing the younger girl to push her all the way back into the headboard.

It’s not until a few minutes later that Zoe pulls away and whispers, “I’ve wanted you, too, by the way.”

Madison lets out soft laughter at this, heart warming at the sight of Zoe’s cheeky smile.

“Nerd,” she says before pulling Zoe into her again.

 

* * *

 

At morning gathering, when Zoe and Madison are giving each other goofy smiles and leaning into each other for the majority of their meal, everyone knows.

Cordelia and Mallory share knowing smiles and winks.

Queenie rolls her eyes and mutters, “It’s about time.”

Misty grins, fawning over the two from afar

When Madison turns her head and gives Zoe a soft kiss, Coco gasps and hits Mallory, only now noticing the new development.

They’ve finally, _finally_ got it figured out.

**Author's Note:**

> this....ended up being a lot longer than I planned, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless! Check out my [Social Media AUs](http://backtobasicbellas.tumblr.com/tagged/ahs-sm-au) of the witches I have so far on tumblr if you'd like :)


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